Some Funny New Year ResolutionsCheck out these funny and innovative New Year's Resolutions! You’ll surely enjoy them and perhaps inspire you—or tempt you—to make some for yourself. Happy New Year!Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
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I will no longer waste my time relieving the past; instead, I will spend it worrying about the future.
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I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
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I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
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I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
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I’ll assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
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I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly…
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I will try to figure out why I “really” need nine e-mail addresses.
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I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
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I resolve to work with neglected children—my own.
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I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, and Instant Messages and will stop being on the phone at the same time with the same person.
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I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
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I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
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I will think of a password other than "password."
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I will not tell the same story at every get-together.
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I won’t worry so much.
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I will cut my hair.
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I will grow my hair.
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I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine. If that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
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I will be more imaginative.
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I will not hang around girls—they think you love them and that sucks.
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I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
—From New Year Festival 2011: Society for the Confluence of Festivals in India
