20 Modern Proverbs“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”
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“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.”
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“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’ll be a mile away—and barefoot.”
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“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.”
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“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
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“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
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“A closed mouth gathers no feet.”
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“If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.”
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“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”
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“Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.”
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“It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.”
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“I have found at my age that going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.”
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“For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.”
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“If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.”
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“Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.”
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“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.”
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“A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
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“Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.”
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“Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.”
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“No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.”
—From the jokes collection of The Humor Bin
