Words can be constructive, destructive, or neutral, and it is widely recognized that one’s preferences for words and expressions can either enrich or sour one’s relationships. At least in the English language, we know that motivational psychology favors the use of positive words over negative ones. This is because negative words have greater potential for trouble both grammatically and socially. We must therefore fully understand both the grammar and nature of negative language as opposed to its positive counterpart.
Let us begin by fine-tuning our basic negative grammar. A recurring mistake of nonnative English speakers — even the more sophisticated ones—is modifying the word “also” with the adverb “not” to form its negative equivalent: “My brother
is not also here.” “The vendors
were not also informed about their rights.” “Both of you
also did not respond to the woman’s cry for help.” And this intriguing sign on city streets: “No parking on both sides.” All four statements are disorienting because, well, they do not sound right and are grammatically wrong. The correct negative of “also,” in case you have forgotten, is “not either” or “neither.” Look at how they nicely give the proper sense to the sentences: “My brother
is not here either.” “
Neither were the vendors informed about their rights.” “
Neither of you responded to the woman’s cry for help.” “No parking on either side.” (Even if you want to, you can’t park “on both sides” of the street; doing so in the middle may qualify as “parking on both sides,” but that will be a really stupid thing to do.)
The words “no” and “not” are, of course, not the only English words that can negate or turn things the other way around or upside down. English has seven negative prefixes that do this job very efficiently:
dis-,
il-,
im-,
in-,
ir-,
non-, and
un-. Take a look at just a few of the
dis- words: disable, disown, displease, and disregard. Some of the
il- words: illegal, illicit, illiterate, and illogical. Some of the
im- words: immature, imbalance, improbable, and impassable. Some of the
in- words: inability, inactive, inconvenient, and indigestible. Some of the
ir- words: irrefutable, irrelevant, irregular, and irreverent. Some of the
non- words: nonexistent, non-alignment, non-performance, and nonsense. And some of the
un- words: undeserved, uneducated, untidy, and unmerited.
These are affirmative negative words. You no longer have to fuss around with “no” or “not” in your sentences to achieve contrary meaning or effect. The negative is already implanted in the words. If you make the mistake of modifying any of them with a “not,” as in “not disagree,” you actually make the word revert to its positive sense.
Perhaps the English language came up with all these ways to make negative counterparts for words so it could attenuate the negative in the language, rather than accentuate it. English speakers in ancient times must have already known one quirk of human nature: people act more willingly on positive statements rather than on negative ones. Early in the evolution of the language, they probably already saw that negative words had the power to upset or complicate thinking and to make people indecisive. No wonder, then, that they took the trouble of finding ways to confine the negative aspect of language to specific words, instead of letting them permeate entire statements all the time. Based on its rich negative vocabulary, in fact, English appears to have evolved with a focus on affirmation instead of negation.
Consider this patently negative sentence: “I don’t think she is being honest with me.” The negative aspect engulfs the statement as soon as the negative “don’t” is spoken. In contrast, see how a positive sentence can affirm the same negative idea: “I think she is being dishonest with me.” The affirmation (“I think”) comes before the single-word negation (“dishonest”), giving the statement a positive tone. Here’s a stronger negative statement: “You never care for my feelings anymore. You must always must have the last word on anything.” When you hear this devastatingly accusatory statement, you cannot help but go on the defensive. And we all know that this reaction is justified; when “never” and “always” go hand in hand, they are often exaggerated and seldom true. Now, feel the contrast in this positive, levelheaded statement: “I wish you will consider my feelings too and listen to what I have to say. Can we talk this matter over without arguing?” The negative, accusatory tone of the original statement is gone, opening a door to amicable discussion. In a civilized world, positive language is still the best way to a mutually acceptable compromise.
So, next time you want to speak negatively about anything, try an affirmative negative word and affirm it with a positive statement. I am sure that you will get better results and achieve better relationships that way.
This essay first appeared in the weekly column “English Plain and Simple” by Jose A. Carillo in The Manila Times
and subsequently appeared as Chapter 34 in the Usage and Style section of his book English Plain and Simple: No-Nonsense Ways to Learn Today’s Global Language
, © 2004 by Jose A. Carillo, © by the Manila Times Publishing Corp. All rights reserved.
