A Christmas Q&A for Language Buffs

[Joe Carillo]

A Christmas Q&A for Language Buffs

In the spirit of the Holiday Season, I am sharing this terrific collection of Christmas jokes that I found in the Jokes4us.com website. These jokes will surely make Forum members and guests hilariously merry this Christmas!

Thanks a million for these gems of humor, guys, and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

What do you call an incomplete Christmas sentence?
A santa clause.

What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
A lost clause.

What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What part of the body do you only see during Christmas?
Mistletoe.

Why is Christmas just like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot’s him.

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them.

What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet?
It’s Saint-NICKEL-LESS.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A pack of batteries with a note saying “Toy not included.”

Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws!

Who doesn’t eat on Christmas?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole.

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.

Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up?
It doesn’t have legs.

How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas?
The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

Name the child’s favorite Christmas king?
A stocking.

What is the popular Christmas carol in Desert?
Camel ye Faithful.

How does an elf get to Santa’s workshop?
By icicle.

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was looking for the holiday spirit.

What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling?
Mistletoad.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What do you call a Christmas song parody that’s not funny?
The first no-LOL.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.

What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?
One slays the dragon and the other drags the slay.

What do you call a scary reindeer?
A cariboo.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

—Selected from the Christmas jokes collection of the Jokes4us.com website

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