Author Topic: Is “Hi!” Proper To Begin A Job Application Letter?  (Read 6697 times)

Miss Mae

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Is “Hi!” Proper To Begin A Job Application Letter?
« on: October 22, 2015, 07:48:26 PM »
I don't have my copy of English Plain and Simple with me now (it's in the Philippines) but I could remember that you have suggested then to use "Hi!" when opening a cover letter.

Hopefully, my memory still serves me right. It was, after all, how I've written my cover letter when I had applied for a job here nine years ago. But why is it that some people aren't still comfortable with it? It's as if I've done something wrong whenever that's what I would do in their cover letters!
« Last Edit: November 01, 2015, 07:25:12 AM by Joe Carillo »

Joe Carillo

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Re:Is “Hi!” Proper To Begin A Job Application Letter?
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2015, 08:37:23 AM »
I’m afraid that your recollection of my advice isn’t exactly in context. I did suggest in my book English Plain and Simple that a simple “Hi!” or “Hello!” would perhaps be a better way to begin a job application letter than, say, “Greetings in Peace!” or “Peace be with you!” However, I quickly qualified that doing that good-humored suggestion “might at least elicit a pleasant chuckle from the prospective employer instead of outright consternation.” Obviously, not many people—whether a job applicant or a prospective employer—will be comfortable with such an informal opening, but the point is that rather than be prayerful or celestial or sound like a two-bit lawyer in starting a job application letter, it’s much better to just sound right and well-meaning in a business context.



You will probably recall that I elaborated on that idea in the next chapter of the book, as follows:

Chapter 4: Things I’d Hate To See In Job Applications

Whenever I advertise a job opening, a good three-fourths of the application letters I get have such terrible English that I wonder from what godforsaken model they are all being based on. Although coming from applicants with impressive academic credentials, they uniformly look and sound as if they were churned out by sleepwalkers. They bristle with platitudes, legalese, jargon, and sundry gobbledygook, giving you the strange feeling of being besieged by false lawyers, management experts, and corporate specialists of all stripes. In a landscape that holds great promise of professional competence and achievement, rare is the letter that shows even elementary signs of intelligent life and creativity.

I think there should be subject for college students in all courses to teach them at least how to write good application letters and résumés. We have to put an end to this really embarrassing situation where well-educated people, even those with Master’s degrees, cannot even express themselves in English, much less present themselves decently to prospective employers. And I think that our education officials need not spend a single peso for research on this. I am offering to them free of charge a sampling of how most of our college graduates today are fruitlessly trying to communicate to prospective employers, and I assure them it is truly representative of the lot.
 
Salutations: “Good day to you!” “Greetings of peace!” “Peace be with you!” (These sound so tacky and thoughtless. Let’s train people to just say “Hi!” or a “Hello!” or, better still, to use no such salutations at all.)

Openings: “A person with high respect to your company seek to be affiliated in any position which best suits my credentials.” (There’s a touch of linguistic schizophrenia here that we must correct.) “I am signifying herewith my interest in applying for the position of English Specialist for your company… Attached is my resume for your information and consideration.” (We should encourage them to leave this sort of talk to lawyers.) “I am humbly submitting my application for the position of Editor as posted. Enclosed is my comprehensive curriculum vitae as of to date.” (We should teach them that false humility is as hateful as overweening pride.) “I am very excited about this opportunity to offer you my services. Once you review my résumé, I am confident you will find that I would be an excellent match for this position. I possess exceptional writing and editing skills in the English language, of which I am a native speaker.” (We should teach them to rein in their excitement, and remind them of the cliché that by its mouth the fish is caught.)   
   
“I would like to apply for a position in your company consummate with my qualifications.” (We should teach them that “consummate” is rarely “commensurate.”) “My work experiences have enabled me to develop many skills that would qualify me for a position in your company.” (We should teach them how to quantify their accomplishments.) “I have been looking for a job that can put my writing skills to good use. The position for Communication Specialist immediately caught my eye. With my writing abilities, I know that I am the perfect person for the job.” (We should teach them that employers could also make do with imperfect employees.)

Body: “May I have the pleasure to apply as communication specialist in your company? Do you need a fresh graduate with: a) skills in research, b) experience in research, c) experience in an advertising agency, d) good communication skills and able to work well with others, and e) a real desire to learn and succeed in a job?  If you answered yes to all the choices, then I am the person to hire. Please check the attached résumé to see how well my background in research fits your qualifications.” (We should remind them that coupon-style Q&A applications are rarely appreciated.)

“It is of great privilege to be able to have the opportunity to work in your company should there be any position available that will meet my qualifications...Your good office has proven for many years your excellence in providing service. It is indeed one of the expertise of my course; that is to be able to deal with people from different walks of life, providing service and satisfaction in the pursuit of truth. Herewith is my résumé for reference purposes. Should you consider my application, I would be very eager to hear from you for an interview at your most convenient time.” (What can we say?)

Closings: “Attached herewith is my résumé for your perusal.” “Attached is my résumé for your information and consideration. If you feel my qualifications meet your requirements, I will appreciate an interview at your convenience.” “Thank you and I hope my application merits your kind consideration.” (Because all these are trite and leave an acrid taste in the mouth, we should teach them to be a little more creative in their closings.)

We have already breached the 100th-year-mark of English use in the Philippines. It’s high time our college graduates outgrew these crude ways of selling their talents and energies to the great wide world.

This essay forms part of the book English Plain and Simple by Jose A. Carillo © 2004 by Jose A. Carillo, © 2008 by Manila Times Publishing. All rights reserved.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2022, 01:03:22 PM by Joe Carillo »

Miss Mae

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Re: Is “Hi!” Proper To Begin A Job Application Letter?
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2015, 02:56:31 PM »
Thank you, Sir!
« Last Edit: November 01, 2015, 02:13:46 PM by Joe Carillo »