Here’s a collection of 36 oft-said medical-related words, phrases, or statements that don’t seem to make sense. If you are stumped by them, go consult your doctor—but they may get dumbfounded themselves so don’t expect down and pat answers.Does a nurse have to be artistic to
draw blood?
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Don’t you think psychiatrist should be
committed?
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At hospital
admitting, did you ever hear them admit anything?
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Do doctors call a sick client a
patient for a reason?
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If the nurse checks your heart rate a second time, are you
repulsed?
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If you have several
strokes, are you doing swimmingly?
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Why are doctors only
practicing medicine?
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When sick, wouldn’t you go to a medical doctor to be
ill-advised?
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Is feeling
uneasy the same as being difficult?
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Isn’t a
stretcher something from the Spanish Inquisition?
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Shouldn’t the doctor be
ill-prepared and the patient
ill-mannered?
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Aren’t doctor’s fees
ill-gotten gains?
Would you allow an operator to perform an
operation on you?
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Are you expected to be
ambulatory to get to the ambulance?
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During a
heart attack, is the heart attacking or is it being attacked?
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If you are both
nearsighted and
farsighted, do you have perfect vision?
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Why do they use a
scalpel when they’re not operating on your head?
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Wouldn’t you think
antibiotics would kill anything biotic?
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When physicians
treat you, why do you end up paying?
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Can you look up your other body parts in your
appendix?
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What emerges during an
emergency?
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What surges during
surgery?
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Exactly what is being covered again in
recovery?
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Why did the audiologist tell me I needed a
earring aid?
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Does the word
ophthalmology come from the letters on an eye chart?
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Can a
toothbrush be used on more than one tooth at a time?
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Would you say doctors are
curious and waiting patients
precarious?
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If you have red blotches on your arm, should you get
rash advice from your doctor?
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How come having a
cold means having a
fever?
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If you get sick at the airport, is that a
terminal illness?
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During an operation, isn’t it
senseless for a patient to get anesthesia?
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Isn’t someone anesthetized in the operating room an
outpatient?
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When a dentist and a manicurist argue, do they fight
tooth and nail?
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If you are
cross-eyed and have
dyslexia, can you read all right?
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Isn’t it odd how the word hospital is related to
hospitality?
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Is it because
first aid is so successful that we never hear of second aid?
—From the humor collection of Jim Wegryn Presents
