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Author Topic: Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery  (Read 759 times)
Joe Carillo
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« on: January 17, 2015, 06:51:14 PM »

Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

There ought to be stern penalties—short of cutting the tongue—for this kind of chatter by doctors and other health workers in operating rooms!

“Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.”

***

“What do you mean, he wasn’t in for a sex change?”

***

“Ok. Now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”

***

“This patient has already had some kids, right?”

***   

“Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”

***

“Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?”

***

“Someone call the janitor—we’re going to need a mop!”

***

“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!”

***

“Bo Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!”

***

“Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”

***

“Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.”

***

“Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.”

***

“Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”

***

“Darn, there go the lights again....”

***

“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of ’em.”

***

“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”

***

“What’s this doing here?”

***

“That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?”

***

“I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.”

***

“Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”

***

“Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”

***

“Anyone see where I left that scalpel?”

***

“And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.”

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“Don’t worry. I think this is sharp enough.”

***

“FIRE! FIRE! Everybody get out NOW!”

***

“Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”


—From Brain Candy Jokes and Humor Collection
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