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Author Topic: Funny typos and grammar errors that bug real church bulletins  (Read 1004 times)
Joe Carillo
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« on: December 27, 2014, 05:40:35 PM »

Funny Typos and Grammar Errors That Bug Real Church Bulletins
 
Thank goodness for dear old church ladies and gentlemen with word processors. These sentences that come from a collection in alphaDictonary.com actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services. For some inexplicable reason, typos and slips of language are funnier coming from Church.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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Please place your donation in the envelope a long with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

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Don’t let worry kill you off—let the Church help.

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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Author: Unknown / Contributor: Tim Lockwood

—From alphaDictionary.com
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