Forum contributor Isabel E. in Hong Kong tells me by e-mail that she went through her old files and found a list of English grammar rules that she thought might be worthwhile sharing here in the Forum—“Helpful Hints on How to Write Good” from American language maven William Safire’s “Fumblerules.” I seem to remember posting in the Forum a similar Safire list two or three years back, but I’m not so sure now, so I thought I might as well post what Isabel sent for good measure. Here it goes then:
Helpful Hints on How to Write Good
1. Don’t use NO double negatives.
2. Never use a long word when a DIMINUTIVE one will do.
3. No sentence fragments.
4. Avoid RUN-ON SENTENCES they are hard to read.
5. It BEHOOVES one to avoid archaisms.
6. Avoid commas, that are unnecessary.
7. Kill all exclamation points!!!
8. It is wrong TO ever SPLIT an infinitive.
9. Don’t verb nouns.
10. Take the BULL BY THE HAND, and don’t mix metaphors.
11. NEVER EVER use repetitive redundancies.
12. Always avoid AWKWARD or AFFECTED alliteration.
13. If I’ve told you once, I’VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES: resist hyperbole.
14. Who needs RHETORICAL QUESTIONS?
15. Foreign words and phrases, even if DE RIGUEUR, are not apropos.
16. Contractions AREN’T necessary.
17. Prepositions are not words to end sentences WITH.
18. Exaggeration is a BILLION TIMES worse than understatement.
19. PROOFREAD CAREFULLY to see if you any words out.
20. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, avoid clichés like the plague!
