26 Marvelous Puns to Rave AboutForum member Ben Sanchez recently sent me e-mail to call attention to this marvelous collection of 26 puns, gushing that “Whoever put these together loves language!” No matter that I remember posting some of the puns in The Lounge before, I have to agree with Ben’s appraisal wholeheartedly, and I think so will you! To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
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A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
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The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
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The batteries were given out free of charge.
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A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
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A will is a dead giveaway.
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If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
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With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
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Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
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You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
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Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
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In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
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When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
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Acupuncture: a jab well done.
—From a pun collection in the Board of Wisdom website
