Wonderfully described definitions!

[Joe Carillo]

Forum member Ben Sanchez is sharing with us today what he calls a Modern Dictionary’s “wonderfully described definitions.”

Let’s enjoy them!



CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!



MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.



LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!



ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.



CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.



SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

 
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.


EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!



FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.

 

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.



DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!