“Pun-ography”: Wordplay to make you smile

[Joe Carillo]

“Pun-ography”: Wordplay to make you smile

This delightful collection of puns (except the illustrated ones that we supplied only recently from other sources) had been shared with us by Manila-based Forum contributor Ben Sanchez:


When chemists die, they barium.

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Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

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A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

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I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

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How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

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This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

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I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

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They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

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Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

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Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

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I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

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How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

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Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

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When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

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Broken pencils are pointless.

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I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

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England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

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I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

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All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

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I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

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Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

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Velcro—what a rip off!

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Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

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Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

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Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

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Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

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