What are the conditions for making sentences elliptical?

[Miss Mae]

I still can't get over with your grammatical prescription on formulating words ("When is less more and when is more less?").

You're right, though. I had confused an elliptical construction from a writer's obligation to keep sentences brief and effective. But I still have to ask: Should there be a condition where elliptical sentences can be?

From the lead of a lifestyle article: Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step but finding the perfect type of business that will suit you can often be the crucial factor in determining success in business.

Could I rewrite that to: Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step in determining success in business but finding the perfect type [of business] that will suit you can often be the crucial factor.

[Joe Carillo]

There definitely are specific conditions for making a sentence elliptical, the objective of which is to streamline the sentence by dropping repetitive words and phrases without changing its meaning or undermining its structural integrity. The ellipsis takes it for granted that the reader would just mentally fill in the gaps with the missing grammatical elements.

As a rule, elliptical sentences consist of two independent clauses, one containing the grammar elements the other has left out. The independent clause with the missing elements is the elliptical clause—an abbreviated adverb clause stripped of its subject and verb.

There are six common forms of elliptical sentences: (1) the routine omission of “that” in modifying clauses, particularly in spoken English; (2) elliptical noun phrases; (3) ellipsis of the verb and its objects or complements; (4) medial or middle ellipsis; (5) ellipsis of clause; (6) ellipsis when words are left out in comparisons using “that” or “as.” These elliptical forms are discussed in “The virtue of elliptical constructions,” a two-part essay that I originally wrote for my English-usage in The Manila Times in 2005. You can check out the essays by clicking this link to “Deconstructing and understanding those puzzling elliptical sentences,” which I posted in the Forum last August.

Now, regarding this lead of a lifestyle article, “Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step but finding the perfect type of business that will suit you can often be the crucial factor in determining success in business,” you asked if it could be rewritten elliptically as follows:

“Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step in determining success in business but finding the perfect type [of business] that will suit you can often be the crucial factor.”

No, I don’t think the above sentence is a successful elliptical construction. Dropping the words “of business” in the second coordinate clause only fragmented the sentence rather than streamline it. This is because the noun phrase “perfect type of business” in the second clause is actually different from—and not a repetition of—the earlier phrase “success in business” in the first cause. So, when the words “of business” are dropped from the noun phrase “perfect type of business,” it’s no longer clear what the description “perfect type” is referring to. The meaning of the sentence is therefore seriously altered—a clear indication that the attempt to make it elliptical has not succeeded.

I am sure that after you’ve gone over and internalized the six common elliptical constructions discussed in the essay I referred to above, you’d soon become very adept at constructing elliptical sentences.

[Miss Mae]

Thank you for looking into this, Sir. But what I commented on was the order of that elliptical construction.

In that lead sentence, it didn't mention at once that having an entrepreneurial spirit is a factor in determining success in business. It just did so in the second independent clause but finding the perfect type of business that will suit you.

Shouldn't the missing element in an elliptical construction mentioned right away?

[Joe Carillo]

OK, let’s take a look at your rewrite again:

“Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step in determining success in business but finding the perfect type that will suit you can often be the crucial factor.”

You did right in transferring the phrase “in determining success in business” from the tail end of the sentence to that position right after “the first step.” By doing so, you made it clearer that there are two steps being talked about as important to business success. However, by knocking off the words “of business” that qualify the gerund phrase “the perfect type,” you ruined the sense and syntax of the sentence by making it unclear what “perfect type” is being talked about.

To someone reading that sentence for the first time, the question that surely would come to mind is this: “The perfect type of what that will suit me?” This is the semantic problem created by dropping the qualifying words “of business” from the second clause of that sentence. In short, dropping those words is grammatically improper and doesn’t produce a legitimate elliptical sentence. In fact, dropping the words “of business” in that clause doesn’t fit any of the six common patterns for making sentences elliptical.

Perhaps the problem would have become clearer to you if your rewrite had not enclosed the words “of business” in brackets, as follows:

“Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step in determining success in business but finding the perfect type [of business] that will suit you can often be the crucial factor.”

The presence of those bracketed words that really shouldn’t be there gives a false sense of correctness to what’s actually a gramatically flawed sentence. 

Now see how things would have been perfect and crystal clear had you not attempted to make your rewrite elliptical:

“Having an entrepreneurial spirit is normally the first step in determining success in business but finding the perfect type of business that will suit you can often be the crucial factor.”

So always keep this in mind: Not every sentence can be made elliptical. If your attempt to make a sentence elliptical makes it disjointed or makes its sense fuzzy, stop. Leave every word of the complete sentence intact, as in that excellent non-elliptical rewrite above.

[Miss Mae]

I should have just confined myself with your prescription that As a rule, elliptical sentences consist of two independent clauses, one containing the grammar elements the other has left out (Deconstructing and understanding those puzzling elliptical sentences). Thank you, Sir!