Author Topic: Using parallelism to achieve structural balance in writing  (Read 10308 times)

Joe Carillo

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4656
  • Karma: +206/-2
    • View Profile
    • Email
Using parallelism to achieve structural balance in writing
« on: October 08, 2011, 06:29:40 PM »
Last week, I posted in the Forum Parts I and II of “Presenting ideas in parallel,” a four-part essay that I wrote for my English-usage column in The Manila Times in 2006 to create greater awareness of the importance of parallelism in writing. Part I took up this basic rule for parallel construction: never mix grammatical forms when presenting similar or related ideas, meaning that all of those ideas should stick to the same grammatical pattern all throughout—all noun forms, all gerund forms, all infinitive forms, or all verb forms as the case may be. Then Part II discussed another very important parallel construction rule: a parallel structure that begins with a clause should sustain that pattern all the way.

This week, I am posting Parts III and IV of that essay. Part III discusses specific applications of the two parallelism rules taken up in Parts I and II, while Part IV discusses how to achieve structural balance for sentences by using parallel structure for adjectives and adverbs as well as for two or more grammatical elements serving as complements.

I am sure that by following the prescriptions for parallelism taken up in the four-part essay, Forum members will see a dramatic improvement in both their written and spoken English. (October 9, 2011)

Presenting ideas in parallel

Part III:

We have already taken up the two basic rules for parallel construction, namely that a sentence that presents two or more serial elements should stick to the same pattern all throughout, and that a parallel structure that begins with a clause should sustain that pattern all the way. We saw that we can build much clearer and more forceful sentences by consistently observing these rules.

Now we need to refami¬liarize ourselves with four specific applications of these two parallelism rules: (1) that all of the elements being enumerated in a list should take the same grammatical form, (2) that elements being compared should take the same grammatical form, (3) that elements joined by a linking verb or a verb of being should take the same grammatical form, and (4) that elements joined by a correlative conjunction should take the same grammatical form.

All elements in a list should have a parallel structure. We can make our written compositions better organized and more readable by using the same grammatical form for all the elements we are enumerating in a list. The elements should all be noun forms, verb forms, infinitive phrases, gerund phrases, or participial phrases, whichever is most appropriate. When we allow any of the elements to take a different form, the rhythm of the enumeration is broken and the reader’s train of thought is needlessly disrupted.

Consider the following not-so-well-thought-out list:

“At present, our club has: (1) no formal charter, (2) subsisting without a long-term organizational goal, (3) a seriously declining membership, (4) a large budgetary deficit, and (5) to collect a large amount of past-due membership fees.”

The list looks awfully craggy and reads very badly for an obvious reason: its elements don’t follow a consistent grammatical form. Items 1, 3, and 4 are noun phrases, but Item 2 is a verb phrase in the progressive form and Item 5 is an infinitive phrase.

Now see how smoothly and cohesively the list reads when its elements all take the same grammatical form, in this case as verb phrases:

“At present, our club: (1) lacks a formal charter, (2) subsists without a long-term organizational goal, (3) suffers from a seriously declining membership, (4) carries a large budgetary deficit, and (5) needs to collect a large amount of past-due membership fees.”

Elements being compared should use a parallel structure. In constructions that use the form “X is better than/more than Y,” we have to make sure that the elements being compared have the same grammatical structure. Unparallel (gerund/infinitive): “She enjoys jogging better than to run.” Parallel (gerund/gerund): “She enjoys jogging better than running.”

Elements joined by a linking verb or a verb of being should use a parallel structure. When we use “is” as a verb of being that links two elements, we have to make sure that the elements have the same grammatical structure. Unparallel (infinitive/gerund):To make that impossible demand is declaring open hostilities.” Parallel (infinitive/infinitive):To make that impossible demand is to declare open hostilities.”

Elements joined by a correlative conjunction should use a parallel structure. When we use the correlative conjunctions “either . . .  or,” “neither . . . nor,” “not only . . . but also,” “both . . . and . . .”, and “whether . . . or,” we have to make sure that the elements being correlated have the same grammatical structure.

Unparallel (gerund/infinitive): “For you to get to Manila on time, we suggest either taking the morning flight tomorrow or to drive overnight right now.” Parallel (gerund/gerund): “For you to get to Manila on time, we suggest either taking the morning flight tomorrow or driving overnight right now.”

Unparallel: “They not only demand very short installment periods but also huge down payments.” Parallel: “They demand not only very short installment periods but also huge down payments.” Also parallel: “They not only demand very short installment periods but also demand huge down payments.”

We will take up some more fine points about parallelism in Part IV of this essay. (June 12, 2006)

Part IV:

We saw in the first three parts of this essay that the consistent use of parallel structures is the key to more readable, more forceful, and more polished sentences. We also learned that for clearer and more cohesive sentences, we should always use parallel structures when presenting various elements in a list, when comparing elements, when joining elements with a linking verb or a verb or being, and when joining elements with correlative conjunctions.

Before winding up our discussions on parallel construction, we will take up two more techniques for harnessing parallelism to give structural balance and better rhythm to our sentences. We will discover that these techniques can dramatically improve our writing and give it a distinctive sense of style.

Use parallel structure for adjectives and adverbs. We should also aim for parallel patterns when using adjectives and adverbs in our sentences, seeking structural balance for them in much the same way as we do for noun forms, verb forms, infinitives, and gerunds.

Unparallel construction: “She danced gracefully, with confidence and as if exerting no effort at all.” Here, we have a stilted sentence because the modifiers of the verb “danced” have taken different grammatical forms: “gracefully” (adverb), “with confidence” (adjective introduced by a preposition), and “as if exerting no effort at all” (adverbial phrase).

Parallel construction: “She danced gracefully, confidently, effortlessly.” The consistent adverb/adverb/adverb pattern gives the sentence a strong sense of unity and drama.

Unparallel construction: “The gang attempted an audacious bank robbery that was marked by lightning speed and done in a commando manner.” The sentence reads badly because the three modifiers of “bank robbery” are grammatically different: “audacious” (adjective), “marked by lightning speed” (participial phrase), and “done in a commando manner” (another participial phrase).

Parallel construction: “The gang attempted an audacious, lightning-swift, commando-type bank robbery.” The sentence reads much more forcefully because of its consistent adjective-adjective-adjective pattern for all of the modifiers of “bank robbery.”

Use parallel structure for several elements serving as complements of a sentence. For more cohesive and forceful sentences, we should always look for a suitable common pattern for their complements. Recall that a complement is an added word or expression that completes the predicate of a sentence. For instance, in the sentence “They included Albert in their soccer lineup,” the phrase “in their soccer lineup” is the complement.

Unparallel construction: “We basked in the kindness of our gracious hosts, walking leisurely in the benign morning sunshine, and the palm trees would rustle pleasantly when we napped in the lazy afternoons.” Here, we have a confusing construction because the three elements serving as complements don’t have a common grammatical pattern: “the kindness of our hosts” (noun phrase), “walking leisurely in the benign morning sunshine” (progressive verb form), and “the palm trees would rustle pleasantly when we napped in the lazy afternoons” (clause).

Parallel construction: “We basked in the kindness of our gracious hosts, in the benign sunshine during our early morning walks, and in the pleasant rustle of the palm trees when we napped in the lazy afternoons.” The sentence reads much, much better this time because the three complements are now all noun phrases in parallel—“in the kindness of our gracious hosts,” “in the benign morning sunshine during our early morning walks,” and “in the pleasant rustle of the palm trees when we napped in the lazy afternoons.” Note that all three have been made to work as adverbial phrase modifiers of the verb “basked.”

In actual writing, of course, the need to use parallel structures in our sentences will not always be apparent at first. As we develop our compositions, however, we should always look for opportunities for parallel construction, choose the most suitable grammatical pattern for them, then pursue that pattern consistently. Together with good grammar, this is actually the great secret to good writing that many of us have been looking for all along. (June 19, 2011)
--------------
From the weekly column “English Plain and Simple” by Jose A. Carillo in The Manila Times, June 12 and 19, 2006 © 2006 by the Manila Times Publishing Corp. All rights reserved.

optiplex

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Using parallelism to achieve structural balance in writing
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2011, 03:34:49 PM »
Occasionally, a slight violation of parrallel structures is good. On the 10 Questions section of Time Magazine October 17, 2011 issue the opening statement reads "Mexican President Felipe Calderon on climbing pyramids, legalizing drugs and why the U.S. is a tricky neighbor. By breaking the pattern of parallel structure, the author is putting emphasis on the last item on the sequence. - mhark

Joe Carillo

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4656
  • Karma: +206/-2
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Using parallelism to achieve structural balance in writing
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2011, 09:30:20 AM »
Let’s take a close look at that construction from Time Magazine:

“Mexican President Felipe Calderon on climbing pyramids, legalizing drugs and why the U.S. is a tricky neighbor.”

To begin with, it’s not a complete sentence at all. It’s a blurb in the form of a sentence fragment summarizing the topics talked about by Mexican President Felipe Calderon. A blurb is, of course, a journalistic device that does away with so many requisite grammatical elements for the sake of brevity—and for the blurb to fit limited space. Notice how that blurb did away with the verb “talks,” the function word “and,” and the preposition “on” in the following complete sentence:

“Mexican President Felipe Calderon talks on climbing pyramids and legalizing drugs and on why the U.S. is a tricky neighbor.”

So I don’t think that Time deliberately broke the parallel structure in that blurb to give emphasis to the last item on the sequence. It was just pursuing the gung-ho journalistic habit of doing blurbs by pruning statements down to their essential grammatical structures but keeping their basic sense intact.

At any rate, if I were Time’s copyeditor, I would have made that blurb perfectly parallel as follows:

“Mexican President Felipe Calderon on climbing pyramids, legalizing drugs and on why the U.S. is a tricky neighbor.”

In that construction, of course, we have two parallel prepositional phrases, “on climbing pyramids, legalizing drugs” and “on why the U.S. is a tricky neighbor.” That’s all it would take to make that blurb parallel.

optiplex

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Using parallelism to achieve structural balance in writing
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2011, 12:18:37 PM »
i think the blurb is acceptable although if one is a good editor one can make it parallel. and your revision is good (on). I am a big fan of parallel structures, however, sometimes I want to create an effect one journalist (clark) called boom, boom, bang. maybe the intentional violation works best in phrases, and blurbs.