Author Topic: Improved version of the beach resort poster  (Read 5858 times)

Joe Carillo

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Improved version of the beach resort poster
« on: June 26, 2009, 09:32:20 PM »
I am pleased to post below the improved version the bad-English beach resort poster using the text revision submitted by jonathanfvaldez, with some editing and refinements by me. I sent a copy of the revised text to the resort manager by airmail yesterday with the compliments of Jose Carillo’s English Forum along with the following suggestion:

“We trust that your resort, being in the tourism and hospitality business, would welcome this better-worded, friendlier version of its house rules and regulations.”

For submitting the best revision of the poster text, Forum member jonathanfvaldez will get an autographed copy of my third book, Give Your English the Winning Edge, which comes out in mid-July based on the latest advice from my publisher. ArvinOrtiz, whose entry was a runner-up, should have received by now the autographed copy of The 10 Most Annoying English Grammar Errors that I promised; I sent it through LBC yesterday. I still have to hear, though, from runner-up PretentiousDiction for his mailing address so I can send him the other copy of the book.

To the other Forum members, don’t hesitate to send us the most bothersome badly written, badly spoken English specimens that you encounter in your locality. Together, we just might be able to help eliminate the English eyesore or bad spoken language that’s long been bothering you and your townmates.

Cheers!

Joe Carillo

Here now is the improved, edited version of that beach resort poster:

ISLA BEACH RESORT AND CANTEEN
Rules and Regulations

The management and staff at Isla Beach Resort value your patronage and always strive to make your stay as pleasant and pleasurable as possible. To help us achieve this goal, we would like to ask for your cooperation by observing the following rules and regulations:

1. Corkage and other canteen fees.  To avoid misunderstandings that are often the cause of complaints from guests, we will charge corkage and electrical fees for the use of the in-house videoke, rice cooker, laptop, etc. These charges apply to all guests without exception and may be paid directly to the canteen cashier.

2. Unattended belongings. Despite every effort to provide our guests a secure place to enjoy themselves, the usual high occupancy of Isla makes prevention of theft a challenge. We therefore ask all of our guests to help make Isla more secure by keeping an eye on their belongings at all times. Isla assumes no responsibility for loss of unattended belongings.

3. Videoke bar. In compliance with the city ordinance, the videoke bar shall close at 12:00 midnight.

4. Beverage deposit. To reduce the cost of the upkeep of our facilities, a P20 deposit per bottle and an additional P100 deposit per case is required for beverages purchased from the canteen. Deposits are redeemable only upon presentation of the bottles or cases together with the deposit stub. 

5. Self-service. Because our canteen is fully self-service, we ask our guests to just help themselves at the canteen’s food and beverage counters. Payments for all consumed food and beverages should be made with the cashier.

6. Fees.

(a) Entrance fee –

                                         Daytime (before 6:00 p.m.)     Nighttime
Adult                                               P10.00                         P15.00
Child (under 18 years)                        P  5.00                         P10.00

(b) Cottage fees – 

Open cottage:
   Small          P  75.00
   Medium       P 150.00
   Large          P 300.00
   Extra large   P 400.00
     
Closed cottage (any size):   
                    P 400.00

(c) Tent fee – Depends on the size (please inquire at the front desk)

(d) Corkage –

                                    Per bottle/can      Per case
      Soft drinks                P  10.00          P 50.00
      Beer                         P 10.00          P 50.00
      Liquor                       P 15.00           P 50.00
      Canned drinks             P 10.00           P 50.00

(e)  Electronic / electrical equipment rental fee –

       Cell phone            P  10.00
       Rice cooker          P   50.00
       Karaoke               P   80.00
       Videoke               P  200.00
       Laptop                P    80.00
       Water dispenser    P  100.00
       Stove                  P   50.00
       Sound system (speakers, microphones, etc.): Depends on type of unit (please inquire
           at front desk)
       Other equipment (Please inquire at front desk)

Once again, we ask for your cooperation by being mindful of Isla’s rules and regulations. They are meant to make your stay at Isla Beach Resort a truly memorable, pleasurable, and rewarding experience.

We also would greatly appreciate your comments or suggestions on how we can further improve our services. You may use the drop box at the front desk or simply send us an email at ___________.

Thank you and enjoy your stay!

The Management

maxsims

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Re: Improved version of the beach resort poster
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2009, 12:20:21 PM »
....We therefore ask all of our guests to....

"all of..."

Here is a construction worth thinking about.    In the context of the above, it is clear that the writer means all guests, so what would be wrong with "all our guests"?    Or, simply, "our guests"?

I can understand the use of "of" in "some of" and "a few of" and "many of", but in "all of" followed by a noun, it seems to me to be unnecessary (and possibly grammatically suspect).

Joe Carillo

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On the use of "all of" in the phrase "all of our guests to"
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2009, 08:30:37 PM »
....We therefore ask all of our guests to....

"all of..."

Here is a construction worth thinking about.    In the context of the above, it is clear that the writer means all guests, so what would be wrong with "all our guests"?    Or, simply, "our guests"?

I can understand the use of "of" in "some of" and "a few of" and "many of", but in "all of" followed by a noun, it seems to me to be unnecessary (and possibly grammatically suspect).

Yes, you're right, the phrase "ask all of our guests" can be constructed more simply as "ask all our guests," without the "all of"; just saying "ask our guests" would be even better. However, it's also valid to use "all of" in that phrase as an intensifier, particularly in this case where the resort management wants to emphasize that there are to be no exceptions to the rules (see the text of the poster in question). All three alternatives are grammatically correct, and one's choice really would depend on how friendly or mildly coercive one wants to sound with essentially the same message.