Sounds awkward

[jeanne]

Hello Joe and everyone,

Is it just me or are these two sentences really awkward?

1.  "We can ship to almost any address in the world."

(*I feel like it should be ". . . any address around the world.")


2.  "We guarantee that we have, to the best of our abilities, determined the accuracy of the information presented in our listings. There is no money back guarantee for GAMSAT products."

*Wouldn't it be better to write instead, "We guarantee that we have determined, to the best of our abilities, that information presented in our listings are accurate"?

Is it really to the best of our abilities or our ability, since "our" here would pertain to the shipping company (collective).

I could be wrong, so I would really appreciate your comments.

Thank you in advance.

Jeanne     

[Joe Carillo]

I think the first sentence, “We can ship to almost any address in the world,” is grammatically airtight. I can hardly discern a difference between that sentence and your suggested version that uses “around” instead of “in,” We can ship to almost any address around the world.”

As to the second sentence, yours is a decidedly better construction. The original version doesn’t read very well because it ill-advisedly breaks the verb phrase “we have determined” with the adverbial phrase “to the best of our abilities.” Your version got rid of that break nicely. Both the original sentence and your improved version are wordy overstatements, though, and it hardly makes a difference whether “best of our abilities” or “best of our ability” is used.

I would simplify and make that sentence more concise, as follows:

“We guarantee the accuracy of the information presented in our listings.”

That’s 11 words vs. 20 words of the original, or a savings of 9 words (45%).

[jeanne]

Hi Joe,

Thank you so much for your response.  I am learning so much from your forum.

More power!

Jeanne