Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on September 05, 2017, 08:41:24 AM
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What the Teacher Says and What the Teacher Means
Euphemism is the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant. It is one of humanity's most effective tools for achieving civility in social discourse, for attenuating aggression between one another, and for curbing internecine conflict and even open warfare. But sometimes euphemism can be carried to dishonest and counterproductive extremes, as in the 13 disingenuous statements below that totally obscure the reality of the situation. (After reading each item, you may want to test your communication skills by jotting down how you would have constructively phrased the statement without falsifying reality and creating offense. Good luck!)
1. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in her capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(She’s definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/girl-telling-tall-story-1A.png)
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).
3. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).
4. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/exam-cheating-hand-1A.png)
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).
6. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).
7. Joanna enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with her peers.
(She’s a bully).
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/girl-bullying-girl-1A.png)
8. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).
9. Manny exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don’t intimidate him.
(The lazy thing hasn’t done one assignment all term).
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/sleepy-head-in-class-1A.png)
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we’ve run out of diapers).
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner’s Guide).
12. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yacking).
13. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year’s repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for college and must repeat the 4th year).
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/communicative-girls-in-class-1A.png)
—From Basic Jokes: Clean Jokes for a Dirty World