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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Classified ad classics
As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips:
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
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Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
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We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
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Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
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A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
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Dinner Special—Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
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For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
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Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
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Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
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No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
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For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
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Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vagetables, salads, quiche.
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7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.
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Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
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Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
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Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
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Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
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If you think you’vve seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
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Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
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Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
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Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
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Stock up and save. Limit: one.
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Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it.
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We build bodies that last a lifetime.
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This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.
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For Sale—Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
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For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
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Man, honest. Will take anything.
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Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
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Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
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Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
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Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
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Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
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Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
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3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
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Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
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Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
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Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
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Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
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Illiterate? Write today for free help.
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Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
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Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
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Mother’s helper—peasant working conditions.
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Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
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And now, the Superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
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We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
