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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
20 Technical Terms Said in Plain English
1. A number of different approaches are being tried.
We are still clueless.
2. Extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem.
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. Close project coordination.
We know who to blame.
4. Major technological breakthrough.
It works only so so, but looks very hi-tech.
5. Customer satisfaction is delivered assured.
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy just to get it delivered.
6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. Test results were extremely gratifying.
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. It is in the process.
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. We will look into it.
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. Please note and initial.
Let’s spread the responsibility for the mistake.
12. Give us the benefit of your thinking.
We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done.
13. Give us your interpretation.
I can’t wait to hear this nonsense!
14. See me or let’s discuss.
Come into my office, I’m lonely.
15. All new.
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. Rugged.
Too darn heavy to lift!
17. Lightweight.
Lighter than rugged.
18. Years of development.
One finally worked.
19. Energy saving.
Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. Low maintenance.
Impossible to fix if broken.
—From PlainLanguage.gov
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